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screwed things up. and i was the last to realise...

he said i was performing under expectations...=(
when i thought i have studied???so y was i...?

i thought passing was enough...afterall, i m an average student...
no point slogging so hard...what can i even suck from that?
oh...no point slogging so hard? but i have disappointed so many people so many times.
he thought i would brush up...
but i didnt...
he waited since last year.
until today, he thought that i needed some advice to push me futher.
*heart broken*
now then i realise.
so many people...my mom,my teachers...
they tried so hard to help me.
what did they get? A WHOLE YEAR OF DISAPPOINTMENT?
why didnt they give up on me? when i have already lost the faith to do well...

when i told my mom last term that i failed eng ct,
she paused her housework for a moment.
then she told me.
whats the point of telling me? what do you want me to do?
this is not the first time you're failing...

i didnt think much of it, thought she just couldnt be bothered.

but after that, she told me. no choice lor, when you grow up, take up the low paid jobs lor, what can i do?

yups. what can she do???
what can she do when i dont do a thing?

!!!!!!